Al Batt: Misses the full service service
Posted at 5:04 p.m. on Tuesday, October 18, 2022
Echoes of the Loafers’ Club meeting
I miss full service gas stations.
When the guy asked me if I wanted to fill up my van, I said, “No, I’m not the King of England.
Drive by Bruce Drive
I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Every time I walk past his reader, thoughts come to mind. This is the time of year when the crossing gourds help the young pumpkins to cross the roads safely. The seasons change as if directed by the sleight of hand of a masterful magician. It snowed in my yard on October 13. I was walking around wearing a T-shirt and shorts (because I’m an idiot) when the snow hit me. The heat index was of little concern. A flock of black-eyed juncos moved like blowing leaves across the grass, the white sides of their tails evident in flight. The famous snowbirds brought the snow with them. The snow was not traceable. On October 14, the water in the birdbath had an icy ceiling. It is Mother Nature’s job to keep us hoping and guessing.
My auto insurance company isn’t one of the funniest, but they handled my hail insurance claim well. I took my car for a spin to see if it handled differently without bumps. I saw a sign on a man’s lawn. He said, “I am an (epithet). I am not running for election. I just wanted my own sign.
I entered an elevator in an imposing building. I remember having bad childhood dreams about wearing a tie and one day working in tall buildings.
My memories were cut short when a man wearing a tie entered the crowded elevator. He sounded bossy, if you can walk into an elevator bossy without being an elevator repairman, and bellowed, “Ninth floor!”
There was no “please” included and not a hint of a smile. He wasn’t wearing pom poms, so he wasn’t a cheerleader for this floor. He glared at us. Did he think we were a group of elevator operators? He repeated his order in a gruff voice that was both demanding and threatening. He wanted it done in a jiffy. A jiffy is 1/100 of a second.
A security guard pressed the button for the 21st floor for him.
I went down to the 7th floor and watched a guy in front of me walking with his head down while texting. He kept walking and texting until he ran into a wall.
Travel is fun.
I have learned
The monkey bars looked good, but they had a treacherous side to them.
Texting with a landline is difficult.
The chances of getting lost with Gilligan, the Skipper too, a millionaire and his wife, a movie star, the Professor and Mary Ann are slim.
I don’t know how most things work.
Sometimes the answer is a bigger hammer.
Boxelder bugs are true bugs and belong to the same family as stink bugs, cicadas and other insects with biting and sucking mouthparts. Adult boxelder bugs are black with orange or red markings. In late summer and fall, boxelder bugs leave the trees where they were feeding to find protected areas for the winter. They can stain draperies and other light colored surfaces and produce an unpleasant odor when crushed. They like warm areas and are attracted to buildings with a large southern or western exposure and find buildings taller than surrounding structures or isolated on flat ground appealing. Boxelder bedbugs are harmless. They don’t bite or sting, they’re not attracted to food, they’re not the alligators of the bug world, there’s not a single case of someone being attacked by a maple bug notwithstanding, they do not lay eggs in our homes or eat our fabrics. Compared to multicolored Asian ladybugs, boxelder bugs are welcome. Masking or tape applied over any small openings will keep insects out. A vacuum cleaner is an effective method of removing slow-moving, slow-moving insects from the home. Elderberry bugs suck the juices from the leaves and developing seeds of maple trees and maple trees, but they don’t siphon enough to injure the trees. They overwinter in cozy crevices around your home and won’t eat anything during that time. Boxelder bugs can release unpleasant smelling/tasting chemicals to deter predators. Like other insects with similar abilities (monarch butterflies), they have bright orange or red markings to warn predators. If you want them outside your home, you can spray boxelder stink bugs with a homemade concoction of 1/2 cup laundry detergent mixed with 1 gallon of water and it won’t make them no good. Repeat the treatment as needed.
Kindness makes more sense.